he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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