We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
