We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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