Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
