She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
