So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
