I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
