Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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