i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Randomize