In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
