There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
