I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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