I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
