Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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