I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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