Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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