New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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