Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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