This dress was meant to end up on your floor
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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