If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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