I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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