you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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