Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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