Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
