We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Mom said you looked used
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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