I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
