I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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