is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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