Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
