So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
