Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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