how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
