Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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