Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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