He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
