Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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