Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
