You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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