Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
