Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
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