Buhtt sex?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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