I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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