Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
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Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
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As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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