i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
