can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
