So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?