i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017