shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.