I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you win again, gameday.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
