They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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