You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
