I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
