I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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