I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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