K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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