I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
