Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize