I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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